By: Lauren King
The belief that embracing your full identity makes you “less” is one of the harmful lies religion ever told. That’s how Ann Russo sees it.
In a recent podcast interview with Cam Fraser, she shared her experiences as a queer mental health advocate, raised by gay men in a polyamorous household, and now the Founder & Clinical Director of AMR Therapy.
With a background in theology and decades of clinical work, Ann helps queer individuals heal from religious shame and reconnect with their personal beliefs and sense of self.
Growing Up in a Gay Household
“I was raised by gay men,” Ann shared early in the interview.
This upbringing gave her a front-row seat to what it looks like when people are free to live authentically without the weight of judgment. That freedom shaped her work today, especially when helping clients question where their shame really comes from.
What Is Religious Trauma—And Who Decides What’s “Normal”?
Ann defines religious trauma clearly: “If you experience something from [religion] that creates anxiety, depression, OCD… thoughts that are negative for you… maladaptive behaviors… that have traumatized you.”
She emphasized that not all religion causes trauma. “I take it even to the next level and I view it as high control religion,” she explained, referencing strict structures that define what’s moral or acceptable—often creating internal conflict and shame.
Her clients often carry intense emotional burdens from these teachings. Many feel they need to choose between their faith and their sense of self.
“Sometimes people still feel a connection to Christianity,” she said. “So we work together to understand what it means for them… who does Jesus mean to you?”
Her goal: help people reclaim their truth—not the one handed to them by institutions, but the one that reflects their actual values and lived experience.
Healing Shame and Reclaiming Identity
Many of Ann’s clients come to her struggling with internalized shame tied to rigid belief systems.
“One of the main things that I work with folks on is untangling that inherited shame,” she explained. “A lot of unpacking… a lot of understanding values… and it takes time.”
Labels, Identity, and the Freedom to Change
Ann recognizes the value of identity labels—especially for people who’ve never had language to describe their experiences. But she also warns against feeling trapped by them.
“You may not identify exactly how you do today, and that’s okay,” she said. “We do change.”
She encourages people to explore who they are without pressure to define themselves permanently, making space for evolving perspectives and self-understanding.
Final Message: “Question Everything”
When it comes to healing from religious trauma or shame, Ann encourages one thing above all: curiosity.
“Have you read and studied the scriptures yourself?” she asked. “Do you understand the history or are you just taking what you’ve heard?”
She doesn’t tell people what to believe. Instead, she offers space, compassion, and critical questions: “Are [your beliefs] yours? Or are they your parents’, your community’s?”
And her message to those who are afraid to ask: “God created you just as you are. Why would God not want you to gain knowledge and understanding?”
You can listen to Ann’s full episode on the podcast here. Feel free to reach out to her via the links on her website or click here to subscribe to her newsletter.
Published by Joseph T.
