By: Sara Ramirez

“The goal is empowerment,” says Ann Russo, mental health professional, author, and advocate. In a recent episode of the Wandering podcast, Russo shared insights on identity, trauma, and the importance of open, informed conversations about personal well-being and relationships.

Challenging Misconceptions About Preferences

Many people misunderstand relationship preferences due to media portrayals.
“There is so much empowerment in these communities,” Russo explains. “It’s not about harm—it’s about consent and personal exploration.” For instance, she points out how certain practices, when discussed beforehand, may help individuals explore their boundaries. She also highlights how trust-building between partners can boost confidence and redefine control, aiding healing from past traumas. Russo emphasizes that consent is vital. “When you engage in healthy practices, there is an incredibly high level of consent, communication, and respect. That creates a safe space for people healing from trauma.”

The Impact of Religious Trauma on Identity

Russo has worked extensively with individuals suffering from religious trauma, especially within the LGBTQI community. “For many, religious messaging has created deep-seated shame around their identity,” she says. “Purity culture tells women their bodies exist for others. It tells queer people that their love is unnatural. These messages cause real harm.” She encourages individuals to question the origins of their beliefs: “Are these truly divine teachings, or are they man-made rules designed to control?” Likewise, she supports clients in reconnecting with their spirituality on their terms, distinguishing between faith and fear-based conditioning.

Women’s Empowerment: Learning to Say “Yes”

“We teach women to say ‘no’ to unwanted advances, but do we teach them to say ‘yes’ to their needs?” Russo challenges societal norms that pressure women into experiences without considering their desires. “For many women, experiences feel like an obligation rather than something they truly want. That’s a problem.” Many of her clients have expressed guilt over desiring personal fulfillment or feeling disconnected from their bodies. Russo asserts that healing “starts with awareness.” She encourages listeners to reflect on the messages they received about themselves growing up. How did their parents discuss personal boundaries? “Understanding these influences helps you reclaim your identity on your terms.”

Healthy Relationships: Communication and Boundaries Are Everything

As an expert in diverse relationship structures, Russo helps clients explore various dynamics, from the traditional to the unconventional. “No matter the nature of your relationship, clear communication, established boundaries, and ongoing emotional check-ins are crucial for success.” She points out that healthy relationships require open dialogue about needs, expectations, and boundaries. The problems arise when couples assume they’re aligned without having those necessary conversations.

Overcoming Internalized Shame

Much of Russo’s work centers around dismantling shame. “We are bombarded with messages telling us we are not enough. We need to be thinner, more attractive, more ‘pure.’ All of this is designed to control us.” She encourages people to examine where these beliefs originate. “Would you talk to your best friend like you talk to yourself? If the answer is no, why are you treating yourself that way?” According to Russo, practicing self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, and embracing personal fulfillment without guilt are key steps toward empowerment.

A Message for Those Seeking Healing

For anyone struggling with shame, repression, or confusion about their identity or desires, Russo offers this advice: “Healing is not about fitting into a box. It is about understanding yourself, advocating for your needs, and permitting yourself to experience joy without shame.”
Her practice, AMR Therapy, provides inclusive, trauma-informed mental health care and consulting for individuals and professionals. “We are here to help. Whether you are exploring your identity, overcoming trauma, or seeking affirming mental health support, you don’t have to do it alone.” You can listen to Ann’s full episode on the podcast here. Feel free to contact her via the links on her website or click here to subscribe to her newsletter.

Published by Joseph T.